New website at http://www.wisdomhere.com

Dear Friends,
You will now find me at http://www.wisdomhere.com where there is both a blog and forum to continue sharing with you in this journey of seeking wisdom.
Blessings and loving kindness
May you be well and happy

My Great Enemy

When I was putting the girls to sleep last night, we said a a short metta prayer. "Metta" means loving kindness. We had begun by first wishing for ourselves by saying - "May I be well and happy. May I be free from troubles. May I be healthy and peaceful". Then we said - "May my relatives(wife, sisters, grandparents and uncles/aunties) be well and happy...." . I was leading and had just begun to end the prayer by saying, 'May our enemies.." when it struck me as odd that I was using the word 'enemy' as it implied that we harboured ill will towards some other. Before I could correct myself, Kay asked if I had enemies. While I like to think that I had none, I said yes. She asked who that was. I said she knows who it was. As a hint to her, I said that each of us has a great enemy. She quickly answered - 'I know - Your emotions'. Precisely.
And sure enough the great enemy surface today. I had just picked the girls up from their regular Saturday kids yoga class. Nai hit Kay when Kay said something in the car. I asked Nai to get down from the car. She refused and I physically tried to dislodge her. She was strong and had put up a struggle. I succeeded but she cried saying that I had hurt her leg. I was upset in the process of removing her and could see that it was pure emotions which driving all my actions at that point in time. The voice of the rational higher mind was no where to be heard. The result certainly had been unfavourable. I should have just drove home straight and left the kids in the porch by themselves to figure out for themselves where they went wrong. Instead, I had fought emotions with emotions. Fire with fire. Like the saying, 'When you throw fire, you will be the first to be burnt". My future wise action is that I should do nothing if I was getting upset, to not touch the kids and remove myself from such a situation.

Saying Thank You

My nine year old daughter Kay said that she received a gift from her classmate today. Her friend had gone for a holiday at the beachside and had given her a keychain in the shape of a plastic dolphin. The dolphin was partly filled with water and had another little baby dolphin inside together with some tiny sea shells, fine beach sand and shinny confetti. The keychain was very creatively done and the movement of the objects within would hold your fascination for a little while. It was not surprising that Kay liked it. I asked how she had thanked her friend. She said she just shoke her hands. I told her that she needed to do five things to show her appreciation. She would first have to thank her friend for thinking and spending time in getting her a gift. Second, to thank her friend for spending her money to buy the gift. Third, tell her friend how thrilled she was in receiving the lovely gift and how much she liked it. Fourth, to give her friend a big hug for being so nice. Fifth, to remember to reciprocate her friend's kind gesture in the future. That would be one good big thank you. When she responded that it seemed like a lot of things to do and she could forget. I said a sweet hand made thank you note would do just fine.

Dying

It is All Souls Day, a time when death is not a taboo subject. It is one day of the year that we dedicate to the dearly departed. We were at the cementry on Sunday, clearing the tomb of weeds. While my grandfather's grave still had a tomb, some of the neighbouring ones had completely flatten without even the sight of the tombstone. Testimony that the passage of time annihilates all.
I asked my father how he would like things done and be remembered when the time came. He said he wished to be cremated and the ashes left in a temple. The reason was that it was more convenient for all to visit whenever anyone wanted to remember him and prayers would be conducted by the monks of the temple. I said that would still be leaving behind a legacy. Leaving earth but still not completely leaving. In some cases, it becomes a burden to others because of the obligations to return to show respect for the departed. The best way I feel is to completely return to mother nature, just like the way we came. With nothing and to leave nothing behind. Ashes strewn into the flowing river or the mighty ocean reflects a complete letting go of all that binds us to earth. We return to become one with nature with nothing holding us back and nothing holding back those we leave behind. The clear waters of a river, the spring flowers, the soft wind that gently rustles the leaves can be enough reminders of our time on earth to anyone who feels like remembering us. If there was indeed any legacy one wanted to leave behind, perhaps the money which would otherwise be used for the grave be instead used to buy a few trees to be planted in some lovely spots amongst nature along with a bench(excluding any labels of in memoriam) for some tired and dispirited souls to rest and reflect in their journey of life.

Giving Up

We have sold our house which we had been living in for the last 12 years. It is a beautiful house which you either love or don't. It is able to evoke emotions in you because of the way it reveals itself to you. It begins with a most unassuming entrance which greets you. Just a car porch which overlooks a narrow path below that leads you to the garden at the back of the house. In fact, you did be quite unimpressed with the house at first glance because you cannot even see a single window from the main entrance. And windows are usually one of the attractive features of homes. The house was once fully covered with ivy. Right up the walls reaching to almost the roof. The house was just like the kind you would romance about in books like The Secret Garden and pictures of ye old in England. It evoked an immediate response from my wife on our first visit to view the house when we were looking for a home two years after we got married. Her enthusiasm confirmed that this was her dream house when she entered and found that it had several split levels. The master bedroom has a balcony with the most glorious view of lush greenery...
Now, it is no longer our dream house. I didn't find it difficult to let go. I have learned to let go. It was about the time after we used to visit art galleries buying original paintings by local artists and attending carpet auctions for persian rugs. The kind of activities which usually went to making a house a home. I found that there was always another painting we liked and would yearn to have. And of cost it meant spending more money. Where would all this end? And later I came across some words of wisdom which gave the message that we do not have to own everything that we like. It has a lot of significance if you think about it more deeply. We have so many desires, to acquire, the need to have and own. And with those desires comes our feelings of yearning and disappointments if we find that the things we wanted were subsequently sold to someone else. We cleared stuff from the storeroom over the weekend. There were some things there which I did not even remember buying. There were a few antique items including a brass poster bed, a few teak wood frame mirrors and a couple of Chinese woven baskets with beautiful pictures of celestial beings. When my wife asked what we should do with these things. I said without hesitation to give them away. The effort we took in the fervent search for these things never came to my mind.
My daughter said the next thing to clear was the shoe cupboard. She said mom had so many shoes. I told her that my Friday night Vedanta teacher once said that you have got too many of one thing if you can't count them. Kay counted her shoes. Yes she had less than five pairs. It is only when we grow older that we keep buying. Not giving any thought if we really needed another pair of shoes, another shirt or dress..and finding out later that we no longer have the desire to own those things which we had bought.
The practical wisdom is that the desire we have of things is only momentary. Be less acquisitive and like what the yoga teacher said for the theme of the year - 'Travel light and expand your mind'. You will have less baggage to tie you down. Save yourself some money and not be disappointed if you do not own something which you like. That feeling of disappointment shall pass.